FuzzyButt Presents: Doggie Style
by Minakoi6963
Summary: Sequel to Fuzzybutt Presents No Mooning
1. Default Chapter

Leaks

( Kagura and InuYasha are sitting in the lounge listening to The Eminem Show CD. Kagura is lip-singing.)

Music: … Put anthrax on a tampax and slap you till you can't stand…

(InuYasha's ears perk up. He gets up and walks out of the room and into the hall where he runs into Rin.

InuYasha: Hey Rin, what's an…anthrax?

Rin: Oh, its this really cool thing that comes in powder form.

(Shippou appears)

Shippou: Like crack dust.

Rin: Exactly. you send it to people you hate and they die a slow and painful death. It's God's gift to me and terrorists!

(Rin skips away leaving a very disturbed InuYasha. Miroku walks by and InuYasha remembers something and grabs his arm.

InuYasha: Hey Hoshi, what's a tampax?

(Miroku smiles intelligently)

Miroku: It's a thing that keeps girls from leaking.

InuYasha: ? Leaking?

(Kagome walks by)

InuYasha: Hey Bitch, what's it mean when a girl uses a tampax to keep from leaking?

(Kagome is embarrassed and furious.)

Kagome: SIT! SIT YOU SICK BASTARD!!!

(Miroku laughs uneasily and turns to run away when the fist of an off-screen Sango punches him in the face.)

To be continued….

(Kagura in the lounge singing.)


	2. Chapter2:The Tube

Feeding Tube

(Everyone is eating at the lunch table. Sesshoumaru is in a body cast trying to lick up his food. Kikyou inters to join them.

Naraku: Kikyou dear, would you like something to eat? 3 3

Kikiyou: No thanks, I don't eat that stuff.

(She pulls out a barrel with a tube attached to it out from under the table with a smile. Everyone sweat drops. She lifts up her shirt a bit to reveal a cap in her side)

InuYasha: Um.. what the hell is that?

Kikyou: *all perky* Oh well unfortunately for the dead, like me, digestion of any solid food is out of the question, so I get my nutrition from this little tube. 

( She holds up her tube. InuYasha is disgusted. Kagome, Kagura, Kouga, and Naraku spit up their food. Sango chokes back hers. InuYasha puts a mouth full of Ramen into his mouth. Kikyou unscrews the lid and inserts the tube the tube. Thick white mush slowly flows inot her stomach. InuYasha, Sango, Miroku, Kohaku, and Kirara spit up their food. InuYasha gags uncontrollably. Rin looks on with interest.)

Rin: WOW!!! That's awesome!!! 

InuYasha: Now what the hell is that shit!?

Kikyou: Cream of soybean.

(Everyone pushes away form the table, sickened. Rin pokes at Kikyou;s feeding device, Sesshoumaru stares seriously (Ya know the way he does) at Kikyou. Kikyou detaches her tube and holds it out to Sesshoumaru still dripping.)

Kikyou: Want some?

(Sesshoumaru's eyes roll back and he falls over on his side, stiff like a dead person….. and dies. Everyone just stares.)

Rin: Sweet! I want one a those!!

To be continued…

(Kanna works in the dark somewhere with a stoned Shippou passed out beside her.)


	3. Chapter3:summer Jobs

Summer Jobs

Director Miska: Congratulations everyone. Splendid work.

(Everyone cheers, give each other high fives, that sorta thing. Sesshoumaru gets high-fived in the face by InuYasha and gets a nosebleed. He's still in his cast.)

Kohaku: Wait a minute. You've never complimented us before. What's up?

(Everyone looks suspicious. Sesshoumaru looks fucked up.)

Miska: *laughs nevously* Well, *ahem* ya see, the company needs more money, so we have to cut back somewhere…

Shippou: *deeply inhales his weed* what the fuck does that mean?

Miska: *mumbles*

Kagura: SO WE CAN HEAR YA!!

Miska: Alright alright, we have to cut back on your salary.

(Everyone becomes tense.)

InuYasha: How…much?

Miska: Not much, ya know, 50, 60%.

(All hell breaks loose; Naraku faints and Kanna gives everyone double fingers0

Sesshoumaru: How am I suppose to pay for my physical theropy!?

Kagome: *spazzing out* Shit, Fuck, Damn, Hell, sona-bitch!

Shppou: How'm I gonna pay for my shit!?

Miska: Get a summer side job. It's not like you don't have the time to spare, you don't work half the day anyway.

Kikyou: but you just said we were doing a splendid job.

Kohaku: She just said that to break the bad news.

Kikyou: *emotionally crushed* You mean you LIED to us?

Rin: I can't work! It's against the child labor laws!

Miska: Than what am I paying you for?

Rin: That's it, I'm blow'n 'er ass up. * lights TNT

-KABOOM -

(Offside stand a singed Miska, with Amiko and Suna)

Amiko: You're no l ook'n so good Miska.

Miska: In the words of Kagura " NO SHIT!" This is all your fault ya know!? *glares at Suna*

Suna: *Laughs hysterically* But….. It's so funny.

-Pause-

Miska: I know. *and we both laugh hysterically*

Amiko: This is pretty fucked up right here.

-Back to InuYasha-

(Kagome is walking down the street. She sighs deeply.)

Kagome: I'm never gonna get a job.

(She stops at a nearby bar, Tasuki from Fushigi Yuugi is the tender there, and finds her co-actors all depressed. She mopes over and sits next to Sesshoumaru. He's out of his cast now.

Kagome: So, why are you all here?

Sesshoumaru: Well, after the pay cut 2 weeks ago, Kikyou and I stayed behind at the studio to take care of something. 

~Flashback of them destroying private property on set that was not destroyed by the bomb. Sesshoumaru is throwing himself at stuff and smashing everything with his cast. ~

Sesshoumaru: And wouldn't you know it, we got a commercial gig.

~Flashback of commercial: *Kikyou is talking to the viewers*

Kikyou: I used to spend all of my time stealing souls and chasing after my old boy friend so that I could drag him to hell with me, but then I set up an appointment with Dr. Fluffy. 

(Seeshoumaru in body cast crying to Kikyou who looks disturbed.)

Sesshoumaru: first of all, this crazed menstrual case bitched me out for God Knows how long, my adopted sadist of a daughter tried to kill me and put me in this cast, I can't eat like a normal being, and I'm so damn po cause of that damn pay cut!! My life sucks!! My mother never breast fed me as a child!! AHHHHHHH WAAAAHHHH!!!

Kikyou: *sweat drops* I thought this was suppose to work the other way around.

(Kikyou sweatdrops to the camera and its viewers.)

Kikyou: After my sessions with Dr. Fluffy, I've become proud of the after life I after live.

End of flashback~

(Kagome looks depressed and I have no idea how to describe her expression so use your imagination.)

Kagome:……* Punches Sesshoumaru off his barstool * I WAS NOT A MENSTRUAL CASE!!!!!! YOU SAID THAT ON TV!!!!????

Kikyou: It doesn't matter anymore, considering the fact that we were advertising a non-existent service. They kicked us out.

Kagome: So you're out of work now?

Kikyou: Well, I got another job but it didn't work out either. Ya see, the commercial inspired me a bit. I decided to create my own service. A PSYCIC! Unfortunately, sucking out the souls of my customers didn't help advertisements much so…. here I am.

(Everyone sighs, Kagome steals Sesshoumaru's seat and addresses Sango on Kikyou's right.

Kagome: What about you Sango?

(Sango blows a fuse)

Sango: THOSE GODDAMN SEXIST AUSTRALIAN BASTARDS!!!! I spent thelast of my budget on a ticket to that fucken hell hole and what do I get NOTH'N!!

(Everyone stares at her.)

Sangeo: *deep breath* I heard they have boomerang competitions down there and you can win a whole lota doe, so I went to check it out. They gave me some bullshit about the size of my boomerang. It was OBVIOUS they were intimidated by me 'cause I am a woman. SEXIST PIGS!! They disqualified me!! I hope they rot in hell!! *huff, huff, huff*

Kagome: Um Sango…. How did you get back here.\

Sango: O.o Oh I um… I caught o bunch of sea turtles, tied them together with my back hair, and used them as a raft to get home

(Everyone sweat drops. What? They are looking disturbed.)

Sesshoumaru: *from the floor* I think I saw that movie.

(Sango stomps on his face with her sndal. She blushes and leaves. Kagome takes her seat nest to Miroku.)

Kagome: I know I probably don't want to know, but what's your story? 

Miroku: *sighs* I rather not talk about it.

(A drunk Kouga wraps his arm around Miroku's shoulders.)

Kouga: This poor guy, he wanted to follow his dream of being of being a Pimp Daddy, but they told him he lacked the experience necessary. 

(Kouga starts laughing insanely and passes out on the floor.)

Miroku: I'm a failure as a man.

Kagome: That's nice.

(Kagome moves to Kouga's seat neat to Kirara and Shippou who is surprisingly NOT high but seems to be having withdrawal symptoms. )

Kagome: And you guys?

Shippou: Well, the only job we could get was at the petting zoo.

Kirara: *thinking* that's all your limited education and lack of brain cells will withstand.

Shippou: But they fucken took my stash man. I got nothin' * emotional breakdown*

Kagome: What about Kirara?

Shippou: *sniffle* It was great with her, all sophisticated like, she let kids grope her in dignity. But then the owner bought her store brand cat chow so she ate him and all the children.

Kirara: *burp*

Kagome: *sweat drops*

(Naraku walks in all emotional and dramatic)

Kagome: What up Daddio?

Naraku: * fans tears with a beauty queen style hand.* I thought I had found my calling in life. I found a nice little day care to work at and everything was fine until SHE came along.

(Kagura walks in)

Naraku: She told everyone she was my illegitimate child, that I abandoned her after I absorbed her mother!! All the babies started crying and I…I…I GOT FIRED!1

(He flings himself over the bar table and grabs Tasuki in tears. Tasuki knocks him unconscious with a beer bottle.) 

Kagome: How the hell are you an illegitimate child?

Kagura: Figure it out.

Kagome: So did he like have a female version of himself appear and ya know… ewww That's wrong on so many levels. Your Daddy's your Mommy. Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "screw yourself" don't it.

Kagura: It's kinda pathetic how much effort you put into thinking that up. Haven't you ever heard of a lie? You have too much free time.

Kagome: Speaking of free time, get a job?

Kagura: My only job in life is to make my " Master's " life a living hell. It don't pay much but it's satisfying as a career choice. What about you?

Kagome: What, you think I'd get another job. No way, I bummed cash off my grand Pappi. Those crappy charms he sells make big bucks. I bet Hojou bought 'em all. He's such a dumbass.

Kikyou: That's not true. He's a very intelligent. He has a family business to run.

Kagaome: He runs a n herb and ointment shop. That screams GAY!! 

Kikyou: I happen to know for a FACT he's not gay.

(Everyone conscious stares)

Kagome: I won't ask cause frankly, I find the up coming concept repulsive.

(Kohaku comes out of the restroom. Who knows how long he's been in there and what he's been a doin')

Kohaku: Hey bums, where's your friend, the dog boy?

Sesshoumaru: I'm here ^.^ 

(Rin pops out of no where and land on Sesshoumaru's head.)

Rin: NOT YOU STUPID!!

Kohaku: Hey Rin * blushes*

Rin: ^.^

-Long Pause-

Kagome: Okay, let's get the hell outta here.

(Everyone gets up to leave except Half dead Sesshoumaru, Naraku, drunk Kouga and Miroku who says he'll catch up later.

Kagome: Guess we gotta go get that good for nothin' shit and haul his ass back to the studio.

Kohaku: What about the guys at the bar? 

Rin: No one cares about them as characters anyway. 

Kikyou: We better stop by Kanna's house and pick her up too.

(Everyone continues to walk up the road to the Nuclear weapons warehouse. They stop wide-eyed at the lawn sculpting being done in front of the warehouse where Kanna lives. 

Kagome: INUYASHA!!!??

(InuYasha is sculpting a beautiful fairy-shaped bush that looks freakishly like Naraku. It was almost complete when Kagome's screeching voice threw off his concentration and his *Sankonretsu* styling accidentally cuts off the fairy's head. 

Kagome: WHAT KINDA PUSSY JOB IS THAT??!!

(InuYasha turns around all embarrassed)

Kikyou: It's so pretty

Kagura: * laughing*

(Kohaku covers Rin's eyes) 

Kohaku: Don't look Rin. The destruction of a man's reputation is too painful to watch.

Rin: LET ME SEE!! LET ME SEE!! 

Shippou: Dude, that's pretty sad. 

(Shippou and Kirara walk down the street to the studio. Kirara shakes her head at InuYasha.

Kagome: I… You…

InuYasha: OH SHUT UP!! I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO GET AND KEEP A SECOND JOB!! I WORKED MY ASS OFF TODAY AND WHEN THE MONEY COMES ROLL'N IN, I'LL BE THE ONE LAUGH'N!!

Kagome: If you consider THIS a "REAL" job. Next thing ya know, you'll be making lawn gnomes. 

(Everyone quiets and their gazes fall behind InuYasha where the gnomes proudly stand!!)

InuYasha: I'M NOT GAY!!

(Kanna comes out of her warehouse home. She stands at the end of her driveway where everyone else is. Suddenly a panting Miroku appears, running down the street with an arm-full of fur.)

Kagome: Boy, Miroku got here just in time.

(Miroku looks at the gnomes and InuYasha. Then at the decapitated Naraku fairy and InuYasha again.)

InuYasha: DON'T EVEN!! I heard about your little "job thing." I don't need a lecture from a rejected pimp. 

(Miroku looks sternly at InuYasha , points his finger at him, and runs off. It's one of those "you're next" type of things. Then a very nude Kouga goes running after Miroku, yelling and cursing for his clothes. Kohaku shields Rin while everyone else is left exposed to stare. But not as exposed as Kouga.)

Kanna: Hot Damn.

InuYasha: MY EYES!! OH GOD IT BURNS!!

(Everyone looks at Kanna except InuYasha whose gone temporarily bind.)

Kanna: *flicks them off*

(Sango comes running up.)

Sango: Guess what guys!? And girls? They are returning our salaries to normal!!

(Everyoen is happy except for an incapacitated InuYasha. Kagura goes up to Sango and hands her a $50 bill. I don't know where she got it either.)

Kagura: Just a deal between women, don't tell Naraku.

To be continued…


	4. Chapter4:Jaken

Jaken

(Naraku is opening a package and finds Jaken inside.)

Naraku: What is it with this postage service!? I ordered HOMING PIGEONS!!!

To be continued…


	5. Chapter5:Monkeys

Monkeys

(Naraku opens a package full of flying OZ monkeys.)

Naraku: *sigh* Eh.. close enough. 


	6. Chapter6:Diary

Diary

(Kouga writes in his diary)

Dear Diary

You should have seen that Mutt Face today. I was hitting on "My" woman and it pissed him off so much. He threatened to hunt me down. He's so cute when he's angry and I just love playing hard to get. I try to leave an easy path for him to follow. I just want a little booty! God, he's so hot!

(Somewhere InuYasha sneezes and shivers at a cold chill)

InuYasha : No fucking way this is gonna turn out well.

To be continued…


	7. Chapter7:Interview

Interview

Suna Cocoa: Okay, this is how this is gonna work. We are gonna get the intimate details on the hot lead star of InuYasha, InuYasha, through his close and personal friends.

Amiko Enrique: Mmm… intimate details. Yummy

(Suna slaps him)

(Miroku, Kagome, Sango, and Shippou sit in their actor chairs. We approach.

Suna: So, Kagome, What is it that you can tell us about InuYasha?

Kagome: He's a worthless piece of shit I tell you! He has no regard for anyone else but himself, and he's a complete dumbass.

Shippou: He's dumber than a brick.

Miroku: He asks the stupidest questions.

Shippou: *cutting powder* Come on, who doesn't know what anthrax and tampax are? *snortd up powder.

Amiko: *giggles* tampax

(Suna smacks him again)

Amiko: Don't get pissy with me cause your "lover boy's" a moron!!

Suna: Bye Amiko.

(Rin lights TNT on Amiko's ankle)

-BOOM-

(If you care about him, he blew all the way to the director Miska's house and through her roof where she was watching anime. He's all crispy now.)

Miska: How's it feel now?! Not so funny when YOU'RE getting blown up, IS IT?!?!

Amiko: *cough* What're you talking about? You were the one who thought it was hysterical when you got fried.

Miska: Get your ass up there and fix my roof!

(Back to the interview. Don't hate the Fang Boy Fan Girl.)

Suna: Anyways….

Sango: I actually have a different opinion of InuYasha.

Suna: *hopeful* You don't think he's a moron?

Sango: No, he is. But I think that he is trying to get in touch with his emotional side.

Kagome: You mean the side when he's an asshole?

Sango: No, I mean, who he REALLY is. When he's not acting the way bad-asses are expected to act. Society expectations suck!!

Shippou: So you mean he's really a wuss?

Sango: It's because of people like you that he can't express his sensitivity. 

(Shippou pulls out an electric shaver and shaves.)

Amiko: I bet YOU want to get in touch with his sensitive side.

Suna: Think Buddha, Think Buddha! Hey, how did you get back here so fast?

Amiko: It's the magic of anime.

(Miska runs him down.)

Miska:I SAID FIX MY ROOF!!

Amiko: Help me.

Suna: sorry, I have to do some digging around. Okay people, another magical mystery of anime is our ability to see within another's mind. So let's go see the REAL InuYasha.

(In the Lounge)

(InuYasha is stretched out on a sofa reading a PlayBoy magazine. He starts crying. Sango, Miroku, and Kagome are playing cards. They look over at him.)

Kagome: What's your problem?!

InuYasha: *sniffles* They're so beautiful.

Sango: People like you make me sick!!!

InuYasha: It's so …BEAUTIFUL!!!

(Miroku goes over to him.

Miroku: Let me see

(Miroku grabs the magazine from InuYasha and his real reading material, a novel, (HEAVEN FORBID) falls to the floor.

Miroku: What the hell is that?!

(InuYasha scrambles to the floor but it's futile. Kagome picks up the book.)

Kagome: Wow, I didn't know you were smart enough to read.

Sango: *reads title* Little Women. Oh InuYasha * Big hug* I'm so proud of you. You're better than all the other guys out there; Inside… You 're a woman!!!

InuYasha: No. NO!!

Kagome: You're such a Pussy.

Miroku: Wait till the guy's hear about this!

Sango: Oh InuYasha, I'll help bring out the woman in you. We'll have so much fun! We'll get make over and talk about boys and ….

INUYASHA INUYASHA INUYASHA

(InuYasha screams and flies up in his bed.)

InuYasha: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(He pants and throws his blankets off the bed.)

InuYasha: I gotta work out.

To be continued….

Suna: Behold the power.


	8. Chapter8:Coffee Talk

Coffee Talk

(Rin and InuYasha arguing)

Rin: YES IT CAN!!

InuYasha: NO IT CAN'T!!

Rin: Wanna bet!?

InuYasha: FINE! There's no way in hell that Kikyou's feeding apparatus can be used as an acid hose gun! Acid would burn through it.

Rin: Alright, you're on!!

(InuYasha and Rin steal Kikyou's feeding tubes, Rin borrows some radioactive acid form Kanna, and the two better go out on the street.

Rin: You watch! I'll use this miraculous weapon to burn the people of Tokyo to NOTHING!!! Their lives will melt away with their flesh! BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

InuYasha: You are one sick little girl.

Rin: Shut up! Some people are coming!

(An unsuspecting crowd approaches. Unfortunately, a newly recovered Sesshoumaru is among the crowd. Rin lets the acid spray.

Crowd: AHHHHHHHHH we're melting! MELTING!!! 

Sesshoumaru: I hate my Fucking life.

Rin: I told you so.

InuYasha: Who cares, It doesn't mean anything.

Rin: Yes it does! You owe me a favor now!

InuYasha: The hell I do!!!

Rin: The hell you will!! * Aims acid gun at him*

InuYasha: Aight, Aight!!!

*Back at the studio, the ladies sit at one coffee table and the 'gentlemen" ( I use that term loosely) sit at another table. All of them are drinking coffee. Hojou's not here because we hate him. Actually, he's working his gay job. Sesshoumaru is in the hospital and Rin and InuYasha aren't here yet. InuYasha arrives, he doesn't look happy. He looks like gay bait. 

InuYasha:-___- ( His shirt says-" PROUD TO BE KOUGA'S SEX SLAVE!"

(Kouga looks all glittery, Naraku's all teary-eyed.)

Naraku: It is all so beautiful *sniff*

Kagura: *about Naraku* He's a disgrace. If anyone's gonna trun gay it's him.

Kikyou: Well, if you're part of him does that make you gay too?

Sango: NO MORE! NO MORE GAY TALK!!

Kagome: Well it's hard to avoid with this cast. Not to mention InuYasha's love confession.

(Shippou shots up some Heroin in the corner.)

Shippou: I think it's sweet.

Kouga:InuYasha! I never knew you felt this way. * Glomp* 

InuYasha: Get the Fuck off me!!!

Rin: *laughs evilly* Awight Kouga, pay up.

(Kouga pulls out a bazooka from no where for Rin.)

Kouga: Thanks little heterosexual white girl.

Rin: White? *Ignores* A bazooka WAI!!! I wish you were my uncle instead of him!!

(Points gun at InuYasha who cringes)

Rin: Also Kouga, InuYasha, now that you're a..a..

Miroku: An item?

Rin: Yeah! That's it! That makes you both Rin's guardians now that Sesshoumaru-sama is hospitalized…again. *laughs adorable*

(Miroku leans over to Kohaku)

Miroku: A word of advice. The female of the species is always more vicious.

(Rin pulls bazooka on him)

Rin: DAMN RIGHT AND YOU BEST NOT FORGET IT!!!

Sango: Right on sista!

(Kouga clings to InuYasha who beats the hell out of him)

InuYasha: What Fucken possessed you to give her a bazooka!?

Kouga: Love my darling, LOVE!!

To be continued….


	9. Chapter9:So Sad

Oh So Sad

(Kagome sullenly comes to work. InuYasha and everyone except Sesshoumaru, who's still in critical condition, are lounging as usual.)

InuYasha: What are you gonna bitch about now?

Kagome: InuYasha…I'm sorry.

(Her seriousness begins to worry him a bit)

InuYasha: What do ya mean?

Kagome: It's Buyo…. his heart stopped yesterday.

(InuYasha jumps up)

InuYasha: WHAT!!? WHEN??! Is he okay!?

(Kagome looks up with tears in her eyes)

Kagome: He was just too fat. His heart, lungs, and everything else just couldn't take it. It was a feline stroke.

InuYasha: A what?

Shippou: A HEART ATTACK FOOL!!

(Note: Shippou's high again.)

InuYasha: No, don't tell me…he…he….

Kagome He's DEAD!!! His little… his everything just CRAPPED OUT!!!!!

(InuYasha collapses to his knees and screams into the sky.)

InuYasha: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *Deep breath* OOOOOOOO NOT MY BUYO!!!! MY PRECIOUS BUYO!!!!!!

(Scene changes to funeral. The grave is next to Kaede's grave. We killed her along time ago.*

InuYasha: *Puts flowers on grave and wipes away a tear.* Farewell, you were the phatest cat ever. I'll always remember the way you danced. Everyone said I was torturing you, but they didn't know the relationship we had.

Shippou: What the fuck are you talk'n about?! *Takes a drag*

(Everyone is trying hard not to laugh at InuYasha.)

InuYasha: I knew this day would come but…. you were so YOUNG!!!

Kagome: Christ it's just a cat!

InuYasha: He was family to me.

Sango: Family? What ever did happen to Sesshoumaru?

(InuYasha on his knees, crying to the sky again.)

InuYasha: You took my brother too!!??

Shippou: Naw dude. That was Rin remember? Hell it was half your fault anyway.

InuYasha: OH GOD NO!!!

(In the hospital: Sesshoumaru is hooked up to every life support system available.)

Sesshoumaru: Why can't I just die?

To be continued…. 


	10. Chapter10:The Rin

The Rin

(Nobody seems to work at this studio. They are all watching the English rendition of The Ring.

Everyone is really into the movie. That Samara girl looks a lot like Rin. She's coming out of the TV in the movie. Okay….. okay she's coming out of the real TV!!!

HOLY SHIT!!! InuYasha's heart locks up, he grabs his heart and kinda….. dies. Rin crawls out of the TV.)

Rin: See, I told ya it would be hysterical. 

Kagome: Nice job Rin *high fives*

(Rin turns to Kanna)

Rin: Thanks for your help with the special effects. Awesome. 

(Kanna flips them off and leaves. Buyo walks over and licks InuYasha's face as Hojo walks in.)

Hojo: WHAT THE NASTY!!! I thought that cat was dead.

Kagura: Dumbass….it is.

Kikyou: You got a problem with dead people?!

Hojo: Okay, I've learned my lesson. I'm going back to the herb store and I'm never coming back.

Everyone: (Not Kikyou though) YEAH! (Oh, not InuYasha either. He's dead)

Kikyou: NOOOOO!!!!!!!! My only chance at a relationship is gone forever!!!!!

To be continued……

(Scene: At the hospital. Naraku is holding Sesshoumaru's hand.)

Naraku: Get better soon my son.

Sesshoumaru: I'm not your son! I'm older than you, you idiot! Just let me die!


	11. Chapter11:Web Chat

Web Chat

( InuYasha is in a chat room under the name Hanyou_Hotty talking to Kyou from Fruits Basket whose name is Zodiac_cat.)

Dear Zodiac_cat,

My life sucks man. Just because I'm part human and part demon, everyone wants to kill me!! My ex wants to drag me to hell with her and her reincarnation is a REAL bitch! Every time she yells, "SIT" I get a face full of dirt! Plus, my dad's fang broke, He's gonna kick my ass! Er…. he would but he's dead. Still, my brother won't leave me the hell alone. I also go insane when I lose my sword and will probably wind up killing my friends, I use that term loosely, without even knowing it.

Truly yours,

Hanyou_Hotty

Dear Hanyou_Hotty,

You may be a little behind, but this is a chat room! Also, I've got a load of shit to deal with too! I want this girl…. I think, but every time I get close to her I turn into an orange hairball. I hate my family! My cousins are either fags or incestuous. Especially Yuki, he always wants to fight and steal my girl. DAMN RAT!!! Recently my sealing bracelet I mentioned before was taken by the only person I trusted. My girl saw me turn into my true form and puked. I got no chance.

No more "truly yours" man,

It's gay.

Zodiac_Cat

Hanyou_Hotty: That sounds shity. I'm NOT GAY!!! Okay, the people I'm working with right now are fucking crazy!!! I got a 6 year-old trying to kill me and a 15 year-old, and …actually I think everyone is out to kill me. I also think I got a gay guy on my tail. He keeps sending me mail. To top it all off, the girls are getting Leaks!!

Zodiac_Cat: Man, your like really does suck ass…. what are ya gonna do? I hate leeks. Thy're nasty.

Hanyou_Hotty: I have no clue.

Zodiac_Cat: No one understands me.

FangBoy017: (It's Tasuki, making yet another appearance) YOU ARE BOTH LOSERS!!! NO WONDER EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO DIE!!!

Hanyou_Hotty: ;-;

Zodiac_Cat: ;-;

Hanyou_Hotty: I hate my life. No one understands. 

Zodiac_Cat: Same here Buddy.

To be continued…

Sesshoumaru: WHAT ABOUT ME!!?? NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME!!!!

(Somewhere with Kouga and Naraku)

Kouga: I feel like I'm forgetting something

Naraku: Weren't you suppose to be looking after Rin?

Kouga: (Awkward silence) HOLY SHIT!!! 


	12. Chapter12:A Friendly Visist

Rin and Kohaku visit Sesshoumaru 

(Sesshoumaru lies serenely in his hospital bed. The light shines through the window and a gentle breeze lifts the curtains. Everything is calm….) 

Rin: SESSHOUMARU-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!!

(Sess's calm, sleeping face cringes in horror as Rin swings open the door with the biggest smile the world has ever seen on her face. She runs towards his bed and leaps onto his stomach. Sess jerks up in reflex with a wide-eyed nauseous face)

Rin: Hi

(Kohaku runs into the room out of breath, gasping)

Kohaku: Rin *huff huff* you shouldn't *huff* run in a hospital.

(Kohaku sweat-drops at the sight of an overly happy Rin ans a dying Sesshoumaru. His face is truning blue.)

Kohaku: Um, I don't think Sesshoumaru appreciates you doing that.

Rin: No way! He's so happy to see Rin. AREN'T YOU!!?

(Sess quivers and smiles.)

Rin: See. *smile* Come on Kohaku, come on up.

Kohaku: Are you sure it's okay?

(Sess lips "no no no," shaking his head and hands. Rin glares at him and he nods, motioning Kohaku.)

Kohaku: Okay

(He jumps up on Sess whose eyes bulge out before he passes out.)

Voice: Oh, you're here…

(Kohaku and Rin look in the direction of the sweet feminine voice that lightly echoes through the room. Their eyes meet delicate feet daintily slipped into red high heel shoes and follow up bare legs to the edge of a nurse's "mini" dress. Their view continues up to a flawless thin waist, snug tight with the dress and a little Red Cross on the bosom. Finally, their gaze meets the face of the ALL MALE AMIKO ENRIQUE in a little nurse cap! Both of them face fault.)

Suna Cocoa: WHAT!!?? Wait a sec.! CUT!!

(Suna marches up to Amiko)

Suna: What the hell are you doing?

(Amiko twitches with annoyance.)

Amik0: -in a normal voice- Well, I couldn't pay for the damage I did to Miska's roof, so I had to get a part time job.

Suna: Well, why don' t you just wear a male nurse's uniform?

Amiko: Because * blood vessel pops* you're the one writing this Fic.!!!!

Suna: *blinks innocently then smiles devilishly* Ha! That's right! *Looks directly through the screen at you* And this is what he gets for not reading my fic even though I told him to 50 BILLION TIMES!!!!!!!!

Nurse's voice: Hey!!

(Suna turns around and sees two nurses down the hall coming towards her..er..me. Damn, this gets confusing writing about myself in 3rd person, or what ever person I'm shotting for.)

Nurse 1: Come on sweetie, let's go.

(Nurses grab Suna's arms and drag her down the hall.)

Suna: Hey!! What the hell's goin' on!?

Amiko: *smile evily and pulls out pager.* This is what you get for pullin' this kinda shit on me. Oh, and by the way, I'm earning 100x the amount of money you earn with your zero income program of being a lazy ass!!

(Suna getting dragged through Phsyc-ward doors.)

Suna: YOU CHEAP ASS SON OF A …..

(Doors close)

-* smiling Suan face* Now back to the important stuff aside from my revenge er….. Hey wait a minute!!

(Scene changes back to hospital room)

Nurse Amiko: I see you came to pick up your Daddy.

(Sesshoumaru looks over with a blank face."

Sesshoumaru: Daddy?

Rin: Uh.. YEAH!

(Rin jumps off Sess and Kohaku carefully climbs down. Rin beams up at the nurse with angelic vibes.)

Nurse: Well here, I brought you a wheelchair. *turns to Sess* I'm glad to see you've recovered.

Sesshoumaru: NO!! OH PLEASE GOD NO!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!

(Sess desperately reaches out after the nurse as she/he leaves. Rin turns to Sess with true sincerity.)

Rin: Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin's sorry she hurt you so bad. Don't worry, Rin will try REALLY hard to be good and take care of you.

(Sess looks touched)

(Scene changes to Rin gaily pushing Sess down the hospital hall. Sess looks a little paranoid.)

Kohaku: Wow, Rin must really care about Sesshoumaru.

Rin: Mm hmm… Rin won't let anything bad happen to Sesshoumaru-sama until he's better.

Sesshoumaru: You mean it? *Gets all teary eyed*

Rin: Of course Rin does. Rin won't do anyth….

(Rin stops eyes wide with awe. They stand at the edge of the outside hospital stairs that lead down to the street. Cars whiz by. Rin is speechless with amazement while Sess looks down the steep-almost 3 stories worth of- stairs, speechless with fear.)

Kohaku: Uh, Rin. Remember what you said.

(tears stream down Sess's face.)

Rin: I…KNOW!! 

(Rin strains to control herself.

Rin: L..let's GO down the …. OTHER WAY!!

(She turns to go back into the hospital doors. Sess sighs with relief.)

Rin: RUNNING START!!!!

(She spins the wheelchair around, runs to the edge to the stairs and lets go.)

Sesshoumaru: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(HIs wheelchair does 7 summersaults and half a dozen 360s before rolling neatly in to the middle of the street. Sess looks up at the sky as the sound of oncoming traffic grows louder.)

Sesshoumaru: Why--------------------BEEP!!!!-------------------------

(Poor Sess is swept up under the tires of a semi-truck and about every other vehicle that doesn't bother to stop.)

Kohaku: RIN!!!!!

Rin: My bad *smiles*

(Scene changes to Sess being wheeled back in to the hospital on a stretcher with little Xs for eyes.)

Nurse: *smiling the scary way nurses smile* Well, Fancy seeing you again so soon.

To be continued……


	13. Chapter13:Drugs and Lesbians

Drugs and Lesbians

(Back at the studio, Rin and Kohaku enter through the door. InuYasha stands leaning against the doorframe.)

InuYasha: what up? Where's what's his face?

Rin: Sesshoumaru? Oh Rin…

(Kohaku looks at her. Rin looks ashamed and gets all emotional.)

Rin: *tears well up in eyes* It was *sniff* and accident. Rin was… he. I don't know. *wailing* He fell down the stairs and 22 cars ran him over, including a SEMI-TRUCK!!! IT'S ALL RIN'S FAULT!!!! *breaks down*

(Kohaku walks away. InuYasha looks down and holds out his hand.)

InuYasha: Nice.

(Rin, completely recovered, slaps his hand in a low five…thing)

Rin: You know it. His whellcahir flew through a car windshield, caused a pile up, totaled a pickup, and killed a butterfly! So what's going on?

InuYasha: *sigh* 

( He points to Kagome who is clearly unstable. He staggers around the studio bumping into random objects and then laughs hysterically at herself. She wonders into Kouga and falls limply to her knees.)

Kagome: Ya know (hiccups/burps) Most people..er.. men, guys, people of the male persuasion. No transvestites though, or cross dressers or… ( gets dizzy and falls over. She lays on the ground, looking up at Kouga) Them peoples… thems, theys can't pull off wear'n skirts like you do. some how, it manages to be very manly, you jump'n around in a fuzzy loan cloth with the wind wafting between your thighs.

(Kouga looks blankly at her and she looks all seriously at him.)

Kagome: Maybe it's cause you got such a big d 

-KAGOME!!!!!!!-

Naraku: Kagome darling, there you are! * helps Kagome up off her feet) You poor thing. Come on, I'll make you some coffee.

(Kouga stands there, his eyes start to water up.)

Kouga: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

Rin: ( to InuYasha) What the hell was that?! She drunk or somethin'?

InuYasha: No, that wouldn't be nearly as disgraceful. The dumb bitch was try'n to prove somethin' about not being a BORING dumb bitch. Shippou offered her somethin' to help her get in touch with her " wild side."

Rin: He gave her CRACK!!??

InuYasha: no…. Ibuprofen.

Rin: ?

InuYasha: Yes, she's doped up on Ibuprofen. That's not even the worst of it. Check this out. *Holds out a Newspaper. The front page headline reads; Little Lesbian Hit By Car.*

Rin: So?

(Sango runs up and grabs the newspaper from InuYasha with her good arm. Her other arm is held in a sling.)

Sango: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!! *goes into hysterics* I have a name you know! And I'm NOT GAY!!! Why is it that every time a woman speaks her mind or… or tries to express a new point of view everyone immediately labels her a Dike?!?!

InuYasha: Uh, nobody's called you that yet. Ha, Dike. Funny.

Rin: What the hell are ya talk'n about?

Sango: They won't get away with this. I may be the victim of a hit and run but I will NOT be the victim of assumptions!!!

InuYasha: You mean, your not gay?

Sango: NO!!!! AH! I'm so pissed. They wanna pull this shit, well we'll take it to court!

InuYasha: You're suing them?

Sango: DAMN STRAIGHT!!

(She storms away, tossing the newspaper aside. Rin picks it up.)

Rin: Too bad she can't sue them. This newspaper sponsors our program.

InuYasha: That's so typical. The real irony of this situation is that Gloria Steinam was driving the car that hit Sango.

Rin: ….. I don't get it.

InuYasha: Apparently it's a joke for politically intelligent people. 

Kirara: Gloria Steinam is a famous feminist is politics today.

(Rin and InuYasha just stare)

InuYasha: I…I didn't know you could talk.

Kirara: Yes well, there's not much you Do know. I just choose not to speak on a regular basis as a precaution.

InuYasa: Precaution?

Kirara: Yes, I fear the consequences of associating myself with people of your * ahem* status. I'm only out here to take my drinking break.

(Kirara leans against the wall on her hind legs holding a margarita glass in her right front paw and sipping it with delicacy.)

Rin: I didn't know you drank.

Kirara: Child how else do you think I would manage to survive among the people of this cast?

Rin: You know, you might provide me with some entertainment if I lit you on fire.

(Rin and Kirara stare each other down. Kirara concludes that this is immature and leaves. Rin stares at InuYasha in silence for about minute.)

Rin: Ya know, you're pretty mellow today.

(InuYasha shrugs)

To be continued…

No one in particular: Well, that was pointless.


	14. Chapter14:Moment with Kanna

A Brief Moment with Kanna

Naraku sits, relaxed in a lounge chair sipping a steaming cup of coffee and reading a Home Decoration magazine. The clinking and clanging of metal all around him doesn't seem to bother him. The sounds stop. Kanna walks, emotionless, by him. He continues to read. After a moment, a toilet flushes. Kanna walks up to Naraku and stares at him. He looks at her. They both stare at each other in silence. Kanna reaches for Naraku's mug, takes a sip, pours the rest on his lap, places the mug back in his hand and walks away. The clinking and clanging continues. 

to be continued….

Naraku: L 


	15. Chapter15:Relocation

Relocation

(Miska enters the room where the cast is lounging.)

Miska: *deep breath* Okay you guys, let's go.

(Everyone stares.)

Everyone: Huh?

Miska; *blood vessel pops* As you know, we have some money problems do to all the excessive payments we had to make because certain people decided to break the sets, get arrested, and die.

InuYasha; What do you mean?

Miska: Our money's gone! We spent it all on fixing props, paying hospital bills and bailing you people out of jail!

Kagome: Uh, we didn't go to jail.

Miska: It's a necessary prepayment. You know it's bound to happen.

Shippo: *Inhales joint* so what's your point?

Miska: We can't afford to pay the rent on this complex anymore. We have to relocate.

Kikyou: We've been uh..uh..

Sango: Evicted.

Kikyou: What!?

(Kagura spins around and pulls gun on Sesshoumaru who's in a nearby chair.)

Kagura: This is all your fault, you punk-ass bitch!

Miska: Alright stop it! We've already taken care of everything. Since this story takes place in the past, modern day conveniences are a distraction. It seems that our producer's got some connection. Have you ever heard of the Souma family? They're willing to let us use a portion of the're property for filming. They got aLOT of property. 

Kouga: big whoop, I got a cave.

InuYasha: *mockingly* Ew, top that.

Kouga: WHA??!!

Miska: Okay! Th eonly circumstance is that we have to stay the hell away form them. Got it!?

Kikyou: Who?

Miska: THAT SOUMAS!!!

Random: Yeah, sure, fine, whatever.

Everyone arrives at a private location in the woods for shooting)

InuYasha: Aight, *pops his knuckles* This fic's gotten pretty far along so we must be pretty far along in the series by now.

Suna Cocoa: actually no.

Inuyasha: *jumps back* Whoo! Where'd the hell did you come from?!

Suna: Hello… I'm the author. I can do anything I damn well please/

Amiko: Yeah and um… I don't think you guys have done any actual shooting at all yet.

Miska: Yes we did. Remember when Kagome went menstrual?

(Kagome blushes)

Suna: yeah well, all the footage up to that was confiscated by the IRS or CIA or whoever takes your stuff when you're bankrupt.

Everyone: BANKRUPT!?!?!?

Miska: Oh yeah, but that's okay. We got some equipment from a branch of the Souma family.

Kagome: You mean we're just starting?!

Miska: Yep! Everyone places! We're starting take 1!! 

To be continued…


	16. Chapter16:Bloopers

Hey faithful readers. Sorry it's taken so long to update but that's what happens when you don't have the Internet and the friend you depended on for postage got grounded from the computer. Poor Miska * sniff sniff* Thanks for the Pocky though. *smiles* Anyway, I wasn't gonna do the whole blooper thing but I changed my mind. If you recognize any of these, it's because a lot of them are stolen. If it's yours, don't' hate me, I just loved it so much I decided to elaborate on it. Well, enjoy and look forward to a crossover with Fruits Basket soon. If you're clueless about the series, read up or just buy it at Best Buy. It's cheapest there if you buy directly from the store. I promise you it's a worth it series. It's my second favorite anime and is one of the funniest ones I've ever seen. Of course, Gravitation's pretty damn funny too! Okay, enjoy. I'll update you later.

Bloopers 1

(Oh, by the way, I'll be using the more accurate translation of the InuYasha manga with a little mix of the Viz translation depending on what I like best. Hope you don't mind.)

(InuYasha volume 1, scene 1)

(In a village street from mediaeval Japan, a young man with light-sky color hair, and a pink kimono is laughing while the village burns. Many villagers (mostly male) are in the street, and are armed and injured and are looking up at the guy in fear.] 

fx house crackle crackle, fx house *burning* )

Inuyasha :hahahahahaha! 

(2 [Closeup of Inuyasha] fx Inuyasha's clothes whump )

Inuyasha: Too bad guys. I'm taking the Shikon no Tama!

(COMMENTS from translation source: Actually InuYasha's "Too bad guys" is considerably ruder in the original Japanese. From this point on, the full 'flavour' of the Japanese language will be translated, which means I'll be using real swear words. )

1 

([Closeup shot of the Shikon no Tama - it's a small coloured ball (bit like a pearl) on a necklace with lots of small chips of what's probably some stone.] )

Narr: Only when I have this, a true ghost form is... 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[COMMENTS] In general in Japanese, the verb comes at the end of the sentance, which in the case of the above, is not spoken. Inuyasha is probably saying that he can become a real ghost with the Shikon no Tama, but we can't be certain.

2 

[A shot with speed-lines, and a speech bubble.] 

Voice: {off} Inuyasha!! 

3 

([Upper-body shot of Inuyasha as he looks in surprise fx arrow thump)

Inuyasha !

4

(Kikyou stands shown from the waist up with a dumbfounded facial expression in her priestess outfit and bow.)

Kikyou: Opps…

(To the right of Kikyou is a smaller picture of her on a miniature landscape. Fx Giggle, She smiles innocently. InuYasha is shown upcloser pinned to a tree by an arrow in his ass. FX twitch twitch)

Kikyou: My Bad!!

InuYasha:…!

(InuYasha volume 1 scene 2)

Page 4

1 

(The view pulls back, and we see Kagome standing in front of the massive hole 

Inuyasha has ripped in the ground - it's about 2m wide, up to 1m deep, and 

about 5m long. Inuyasha stands at the end, crouched on the ground.] fx ground *steam* fx Inuyasha *solid stance* )

Inuyasha: Next time…I'll cut you in half…

2 

( [Head and shoulders shot of Kagome shouting back at Inuyasha, looking both 

angry and afraid.]) 

Kagome: You... You seriously tried to kill me, didn't you!! 

3 

([Some of the village men whisper to each other behind Kaede.]) 

Villager: Ka...Kaede-sama, after all... Inuyasha's seal being undone was unwise, wasn't it... 

Kaede: What a bother... 

4 

( [Kaede reaches into the top of her priestess out fit for a necklace of small, dark, rough little stones/some kind of material.] fx *]scratch scratch*... 

Kaede: Yet again, that damn guy...

(Fx *scratch.* Everyone pauses waiting for Kaede to use the rosary which is still yet to make an appearance.)

InuYasha: HEY! What the hell are you doing!?

Kaede: *scratch* I'm fetching the rosary.

( Rosary falls out of her pocket and hits the ground. Everyone stares with blank faces and Kaede blushes..)

InuYasha: Oh that's just nasty.

(InuYasha volume 1 scene 3)

([Inuyasha strikes the ground in front of Kagome, almost like he was bouncing, and she cringes to the side from the debris flying through the air.] fx Inuyasha *wham* )

Inuyasha: You…. Subdue ME?!

([View of Inuyasha's head and shoulders as he flies through the air, with quite 

an angry expression on his face.] fx Inuyasha *swish*) 

Inuyasha: Don't kid yourself!! 

6 

(View of Kagome from Inuyasha's POV looking quite scared.] )

Kagome: Uh.. Uh..

Page 7

(1 [Close up of Kagome as she clenches her fist and shouts of her command.]) 

Kagome: SHIT!! 

( Kagome ducks down with a very pissed off face as she lifts her foot out of a steamy pile of animal feces. InuYasha flies over her head and crashes into ateh tree behind her with a loud fx *THUD*)

InuYasha: AUGH!!

Kagome: AH, I stepped in DOG shit!!

(InuYasha pulls his head out of the tree leaving a gaping hole. He looks over his left shoulder with a crossed bandage over his nose.)

InuYasha: Well, don't look at me.

(Kagome looks over her right shoulder back in InuYasha's direction yelling at him.)

Kagome: Damn it, InuYasha! I told you to go before we started!

( View shoulder up with side profile, InuYasha on the left facing Kagome on the right. Bolts from their glares at each other crash together in the middle of the scene, fx *VZZZ*. They are both pissed and yelling.)

InuYasha: I told you…! It's not mine! 

Kagome: Well, then whose is it dog breath!?

(InuYasha cracks his knuckles and steps back in a fighting stance. Kagome faces him at an angle with her back to the viewer. Her legs are apart and both of her hands are made into fists. She leans forward in anger. This is a full body picture of both characters with a crater InuYasha previously made behind them.)

InuYasha: Oh, what's wrong with my breath….?! HUH!?

Kagome: The same thing that's wrong with every other aspect of you!!

(InuYasha volume 1 scene 3 take 2)

Kagome: SIT!!

(Full body view of both characters in a small landscape with InuYasha's crater behind them. They stand staring at each other, Kagome's back to viewer. Next scene is the same with the addition of fx* Huuu, fx *rustle, hsh, sha* as wind blows through the scene and brushes though the tress, bushes and the characters clothes. 

InuYasha shown with side profile as he tugs on his necklace.)

InuYasha: Hey, this thing isn't working.

(Kagome becomes frantic)

Kagome: SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT!

(InuYasha is engulfed by power exploding beneath him, blowing his clothes and hair upward with a mighty glow. He laughs evily.)

InuYasha: HA HA HA!! I an no longer harnessed with the power of sit!

(Kagome pulls back with her arm in front of her for defense.)

kagome: CRAP!!

(InuYasha flies through the trees behind Kagome, fx* ZHA*, who disparately runs for her life, panting and sweating. )

InuYasha: What was that you were saying about my BREATH!!?

Kagome: HELP!!

(InuYasha volume 1 scene 4)

([Side view of Kagome tucking the blanket up to her, eyes closed, looking quite 

sad.] fx Kagome *soft-breathing* )

Kagome: Somehow... I've got to go home... 

5 

( The view pulls back, and a bird can be seen sitting on the window.] 

fx leaves *rustle*)

6 

( [A close up shows the bird has three eyes.] )

Page 20

1 

( [View of Kagome sleeping from the bird's point of view.] )

2 

(Large close up of the bird - it's a bit like a raven, except it has 3 large 

eyes with slit's for pupils, and it's beak is lined with lots of small, sharp 

teeth.] fx crow (unpleasant cry of a crow) caw caw caw caw ) 

[A small rock bouncing off the window frame and flies back, hitting InuYasha in the eye and knocking him off the fence post he was sitting on. the crow sweatdrops and flies away.)

(InuYasha volume 1 scene 5)

Page 16

1 

([A small fruit flies through the air.] fx fruit *swish*) 

2 

([View from behind of Inuyasha as he puts a hand behind him to catch the fruit. The fruit hits InuYasha in the back of the head and knocks him out of the tree. He hits the ground at Kagome's feet)

InuYasha: What the fuck was that!?

Kagome: I didn't feel like asking you to come down and have to listen to your bitching.

(InuYasha volume 1 scene 5, from end of scroll 4)

1 

(Close up of the crow reveals that is has swallowed the Shikon no Tama.] fx crow *swallow* )

2 

( [Close up side view of Kagome looking concerned.] 

Kagome: It's just swallowed the jewel!! 

3 

([View of Kagome readying the bow, while still sitting on the back of 

Inuyasha.] fx Kagome *hug*) 

Kagome: I'll see if I can do it!! 

Inuyasha: Alright! 

4 

( [Side view of Inuyasha's head.] )

Inuyasha: Heh, After she's shot down the Corpse Dancing Crow, she'll be of no further use. 

5 

( [Black frame.])

Inuyasha: She'll be splattered onto the ground!! 

6 

[Close up side view of Inuyasha charging forward.] 

Inuyasha: You can do it with one shot, because Kikyou was a master of the ….

(InuYasha has flashback of when Kikyou shoot him in the ass earlier.)

InuYasha: Uh, scratch that. You both suck.

Kagome: SHUT UP!

(InuYasha volume 1 scene 6, beginning of scroll 6)

([Nice view of Kagome preparing to climb out onto the river bank when something catches her attention.] fx Kagome splish) 

4 

([Kagome's eyes contract in anger as she looks up at Inuyasha looking right 

back down at her on a ledge by the river.]) 

5 

( [Reddening slightly and looking shocked, Kagome quickly sits back down into 

the water.] fx Kagome splash) 

Kagome: Sit!!

Page 5

1 

( [Inuyasha does a wonderful spread eagled drop head first into the water with Kagome. Fx *kursplash)

InuYasha: COLD!!!

Kagome: (splashes his shivering) That's what you get for standing so close to the edge.

(InuYasha volume 1 scene 7)

([Inuyasha stares at Kagome looking almost annoyed, while Kagome flaps her wet school top.] fx clothes slap) 

InuYasha: Kikyou... 

2 

( [Kaede turns back to look at Inuyasha, who seems to be edging away.] 

fx Inuyasha *edge away slowly*...) 

Kaede: What's with that face, Inuyasha?

InuYasha: the old crone farted!

(Kagome bursts out laughing. Kaede looks indecent)

(InuYasha volume 1 scene7 take 2)

([Inuyasha stares at Kagome looking almost annoyed, while Kagome flaps her wet school top.] fx clothes slap) 

InuYasha: Kikyou... 

2 

( [Kaede turns back to look at Inuyasha, who seems to be edging away.] 

fx Inuyasha *edge away slowly*...) 

Kaede: What's with that face, Inuyasha?

(Kagome shakes out her soaking top, then shrieks as the edge she's holding over the fire bursts into flames.)

Kagome: KAAAY!!

(Trying to put the fire out, she throws it towards the water.)

InuYasha: Eh? 

(InuYasha tries to move out of the way, but the burning shirt lands on him)

InuYasha: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

to be continued….


	17. Chapter17:Enter Yura

Enter Yura

Miska: People! We have a deadline! Let's go! 

( Everyone is lying around exhausted. Some are recovering from injuries they received during the shooting. Sango and Miroku sit, sipping smoothies and relaxing since they aren't in any of these scenes. At least, they aren't supposed to be.)

Miroku: Hey, isn't Yura in this scene?

Sango: YURA!?!? *squeezes her drink so hard it burst*

InuYasha: Yeah! *sits up smiling* That totally hot babe from the magazine. I think her play name was Bunny.

Kagome: You mean the mag you were using to cover up your chick novel.

InuYasha: No! I mean… Hey! Wasn't that a dream?

Miroku: Well anyway, yeah, that's the one.

Sango: Y-Y-Yura *shuddering* S-she's a d-d-d-disgrace to all women, a complete sl-slut.

InuYasha: Dude, Sango, what' s your problem?

Miska: Okay everyone, Yura's here so let's go.

(Yura bounces over in her skimpy getup with implants about size G bouncing in and out of her top.)

Miroku: ah, the Bunny hop.

Yura: *in an inticing voice* He;;o boys 3 *winks and bends over with her cleavage in InuYasha's face* I'm just gonna LOVE working with you. *air smooch*

(InuYasha starts to sweat and involuntarily closes his legs)

Miroku: Whoo! It's getting hot out here.

Yura: No no, It's just me. *Yura spots Sango trying to sneak away* PUSSY!!!

(SAngo cringes and slowly turns around as Yura giggles over.)

Sango: H-H-Hey Yura.

Yura: Pussy we miss you. Victor says he's lost all of his inspiration in photography because you left us.

(Everyone stares at a very uncomfortable Sango)

Kagura: Yo Sango!

(All the other members of the cast come over to witness the spectacle except Sesshoumaru and Naraku)

Kagura: What's she talkin about?

Sango: I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I…….

Yura: Oh, Sango and I worked together as nude models for a prestigious magazine. 

InuYasha: Like Playboy?

Yura: Yeah! Our artists names were Pussy and Bunny. I was Bunny because my innocents was that of a small, cute, furry, lovable animal and

Kagura: And your jugs do Yo-Yo tricks every time you move.

Yura: Yeah, my hop too. It's what made me famous, but nothing I can do could EVER compare to Pussy. * Goggles at Sango* Pussy had the reflexes of a cat that gave her a wild edge, like she was untamed. Her flexibility wasn't that of a human. She could bend into any position, positions that surpassed even the comasutra. Blessed with these gifts, she could twist herself to where she could even lick her own…..

Sango: OKAY! THAT'S enough reminiscing.

Rin: I don't't think there's such thing as a prestigious porn magazine. 

Kohaku: RIN!

Kikyou: What is porno really? What defines it?

Kagome: Oh don't try to sound intelligent!

Kikyou: What *blinks*

Kagome: *really slowly* We…know….you..are…an…air…head…

Kouga: Dude! These pictures are so durty! I didn't know Sango had it in 'er.

Miroku: And by "it" he means….

Sango: STOP IT!!! * grabs pictures*

(Kouga finds more pictures)

Kouga: Look, there's even Chippendale calendars here!

Everyone:…….

Kouga: Not that I like them or own every year's issue since before I was born…not like that….

InuYasha: I LOVE Chip'n'Dale! *Runs over to look at the calendars. He sees them and is shocked.* OH MY GOD!! What happened to those adorable chipmunks!?!

Miroku: Remember that "it" I mentioned earlier….?

Kagome: Oh that's just nasty! No to mention illegal!

Kikyou: Hey! I'm no tan airhead!

Shippou: Boy, all this time I thought you were a strong spirited feminist with morals and shit. How you disappoint me.  


Sango: I needed the money!!! I hate Australia!!!

Yura: Besides, I wouldn't talk if I were you little raccoon boy. You look an awful lot like those chipmunks.

Shippou: That's nothing for me to be ashamed of.

Sango: That's a double standard right there!

Kikyou: Hey, Shippou's not high!

Miska: PEOPLE! Get your butts in gear! We're starting the Yura scenes. Let's go!

(Everyone gets into place to begin)

Shippou: By the way, I'm a fox* lights up a joint*


	18. Chapter18:Bloopers 2

Bloopers 2

(Volume 1 scene 8)

(Still on the river bank, Kagome tends to her clothes which are on a 

horizontal branch suspended by two others stuck into the ground. Inuyasha is 

sitting with his back to her.) fx clothes *flapping* 

InuYasha: Oi. 

Kagome: What. 

2 

(Inuyasha turns his head to talk to Kagome.) 

InuYasha: Get 'em off. 

3 

(View of the sky.) fx sound *gonggg n-n-n* 

4 

InuYasha: *rubs his head* What the fuck was that!?!

Kouga: *Holding the boulder above his head* DOG SHIT!! Keep yer goddamn hands off my woman!

InuYasha: *holding his script with one hand, rubbing the bump on his head with the other* It's in the script! *gets dizzy and falls on his butt*

Miska: First Aid!

(Volume 1 scene 8 Take 2)

(Still on the river bank, Kagome tends to her clothes which are on a 

horizontal branch suspended by two others stuck into the ground. Inuyasha is 

sitting with his back to her.) fx clothes *flapping* 

InuYasha: Oi. 

Kagome: What. 

2 

(Inuyasha turns his head to talk to Kagome.) 

InuYasha: Get 'em off. 

3 

(View of the sky.) BEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP fx sound *GONG N N N * 

4 

[Kagome has just clobbered Inuyasha with a rock bigger than her head, and is 

talking angrily down to him, as he lays broken in the ground) 

Kagome: HMPH! *walks away* 

Miska: PARAMEDICS……AGAIN!

Amiko: Editing?

Suna Cocoa: Why not?

Side notes: sorry guys, these bloopers are driving me insane! I'm sick of writing the details of each scene so I'm just going to simplify them from no on so I can get them over with and begin the Fruits Basket crossover. Thanks for your corporation. *Laughs* Pusieron. *laughs*

(Volume 1 Scene 9)

(Yura appears above Kagome and the well in her hair net.)

Yura: La…. so you can see my "Kushi no Kago" (Cage of Hair) *moves along strand* La-AH!!! *Screams as the hairs collapse in on themselves and she falls to the ground in a heap of hair* 

Miska: CUT!!! 

(Volume 1 Scene 9 Take 2)

(Sweating a bit, and looking angry and afraid, Kagome looks up at the girl.] 

Kagome: Who are you?

(With a smile on her face, the girl introduces herself.) 

Yura: Yura of the hair. But I won't be offended if you don't remember it.

(Still smiling, the girl pulls up her right arm, and pulls all the threads 

attached.) fx Yura rustle 

Yura: Because it's already over for you. 

(Loads of threads start 'attacking' Kagome, cutting her in half.)

Miska: Oh crap…. do you think makeup can do anything about that?

(Volume 1 Scene 9 Take 3)

Sweating a bit, and looking angry and afraid, Kagome looks up at the girl.] 

Kagome: Who are you?

(With a smile on her face, the girl introduces herself.) 

Yura: Yura of the hair. But I won't be offended if you don't remember it.

(Still smiling, the girl pulls up her right arm, and pulls all the threads 

attached.) fx Yura rustle 

Yura: Because it's already over for you. 

(A load of threads start 'attacking' Kagome, cutting up her clothes, and she 

holds the arm sleeves in front of her, and has her eyed closed.) fx fx 

4 

(Kagome stares in surprise, as a small bag is pull from her by a thread, along with her shirt) fx bag fwip! 

Kagome: Ah...Do I feel a draft?

(Volume 1 Scene 9 Take 4)

Kagome: Ah….* watches as Yura's hair takes the jewel shard from her*

Yura: *whips hair around to deliver Jewel shard in her hand* Oh my! Just look at what you've done to the Shikon Jewel!

Kagome: G-Give it back! *Yanks on the hairs*

Yura: You ma-AH!!! * is interrupted as the stands give way again and she falls on Kagome and topples down the well.

Miska: Who makes these damn props!

Prop Person: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!? It's hair! It can only take so much!

(Volume1 Scene 9 Take 5)

Yura: *Peering into the well after Kagome has fallen in* La --? She's… gone? *losses her balance and falls in* Ow…

Miska: WHY!? Why do you people hate me so much!?!?!

(Volume 1 Scene 9 Take 6)

Yura: *Peering into the well after Kagome has fallen in* La--? She's gone?

(Miroku sneaks up behind Yura and pushes her into the well when she's looking down)

Yura:* Falling* AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….. *Thump*

(From bottom of the well)

Yura: This time, it was NOT me!

Miroku: *snickers*

Miska: Okay, that's it! You're all FIRED!!!

(Volume 1 scene 10)

Kagome: *voice-over* _I'm going home. Fare-well, InuYasha_

InuYasha: *flying through the air, preoccupied with his thoughts* Feh-WHAMP *flies into tree*

(Everyone just laughs)

Suna Cocoa: I thought she fired everyone.

Amiko: What the hell!? You're writing this!

Suna: I think we need a house for our next scene.

Amiko: How about the Souma's house?

Miska; We can't, it's in our contract. We have to stay the hell away from them.

Suna: I think it would be fun to have all the InuYasha characters fall through the ceiling of the Souma's house.

Miska and Amiko; Whatever

(*Poof* All the characters appear in the sky and scream as they fall through the air)

(Inside the Souma house, Yuki, Kyou, Shigure, and Tohru are enjoying there lunch when the InuYasha cast comes crashing through the roof and onto the table.)

Tohru: *tears stream down her face* I'm so sorry but…but… WHY IS IT THAT EVERY TIME I CLEAN THIS FUCKING HOUSE, SOMEONE HAS TO GO AND SMACH IS UP!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!/ I try to be reasonable, I do what's expected of me and do I get any thanks NO!! You can all just rot in hell for all I care! *storms out*

Kyou: Oh good job assholes. There goes the stress free environment we're suppose to maintain.

Kagome: Well Christ, it ain't our fault!

Yuki: May I ask what brings you to our home.

(Miska walks through the door)

Miska: We need to borrow your home for a couple scenes.

Yuki: Um… I think that's a breech of our agreement.

Kyou: Yeah, get the fuck out!

Shigure; Now, now, don't mind Kyou. Of course you can borrow our humble estate. Mi casa es su casa. A hahahahaha.

Kikyou: what?

Miska: He said yes. 

(Volume 1 Scene 11)

( Kagome sits with her family eating dinner. Just as she lifts a piece of food to her mouth, the door behind her swings open revealing a very annoyed InuYasha)

Kagome: Inu…InuYasha…?

InuYasha: Hey bitch... 

Who said that it's okay to go home at your own convenience...

Kagome: B-but how.. where.. where did you…?

InuYasha: From the Well of course!! 

Kagome: The Well!? but... 

Jii-chan (Grampa): Don't tell lies. 

[Looking stern, Jii-chan explains.] 

Jii-chan: At our shrine, those seals have been properly handed down throughout 

history... 

(Looking surprised, Inuyasha flaps a bit of paper in front of him, bringing 

jii-chan's world crashing down on him, while Souta turns to look up at 

jii-chan.]

InuYasha: Seals? You mean these crappy pieces of paper. Didn't work.

Souta: Hey jii-chan...

Jii-chan: *snaps fingers* Damn! Forgot to activate the spell! *Bows head and mumbles something*

InuYasha:* bulted by electricity from the seals* OW!! AHH!!! *Throws sealing scrolls away from him and whimpers) That hurt!

Kagome: I thought those were sealing scrolls….

Miska: *giggles and hides real scrolls behind her back* That's enough for today, seeing how Sesshoumaru's missing and our special guest hasn't arrived yet.

(Everyone prepares to leave for the campgrounds.)

Kouga: Geez.. Hanyous are pathetic. Ouch! It's just a paper cut.

InuYasha: I was electrocuted! 

Kyou: Hanyou? You're not Hanyou_Hotty are you?

InuYasha: Zodiac_cat?

Kyou: Sweet! You guys comin' back tomorrow?

Miska: *yelling from a distance* Bright and early! Let's go!

To be continued…. 

( hey, anyone you wishes to view the missing chapter removed my Fanfiction.net, visit my sitepage at . Thanks ^.^ 


	19. Chapter20: HA HA

HA HA

(It's the early morning and the InuYasha cast had joined the Fruits Basket cast for breakfast. The roof has been repaired and everyone sits in awkward silence. )

Tohru: I'm so sorry about yesterday. I was under a lot of stress. How's the food everyone?

(Silence)

Shigure: *thinking* Oh, this is awkward. Oh, I know. I'll lighten the mood with a joke.

*Speaks up* Ahem, What's worse than your dog getting run over?

Kagome: I don't have a dog.

Kikyou: What about InuYasha?

InuYasha: FUCK NAW!!!!

Kagome: *to Shigure* That's a bad thing?

Shigure: You know, you're killing the joke.

Miroku: If a dog is the descendent of a wolf than doesn't that make Kouga Inuyasha's superior?

InuYasha: WHA!?

Kikyou: Yeah, and if it's true that both of you are canines, than, when Kouga says he hates the smell of dogs does he stink?

Kouga: Hey I just read my lines, I don't analyze them.

Sango: Shippou's a dog too right? In a sense, he could be InuYasha's puppy.

Rin: No, he's be Kouga's puppy

Kikyou: He's a puppy 3

Tohru: Well, it those two got together than they could be Shippou's Mommy and Daddy! That' would be wonderful!

Kohaku: Shippou doesn't need parents. He needs counseling.

Shippou: Hey, I got a dime of counseling right here so shut up!

Kikyou: Who would be Shippou's Mommy?

Kagome: INUYASHA!!!!!

InuYasha: Like Hell!!!

Naraku: No, I think Kouga should be, he's got a more feminine figure.

(Suna Cocoa: When did I put Naraku back with the rest of them? Oh well)

Shippou: He wears a skirt for Christ's sake!!

Kouga: Only because I'm secure with my masculinity.

Inuyasha; MASCULINITY!? You're a fuck'n queer!!

Kouga: Hey, you can't say that unless you're gay!

InuYasha: Since when!?

Kagura: You know, it's like how you can only say n*gger if you'r e black.

InuYasha: You said it!!

Kagura: I'm Wigger so it's okay.

Amiko: People, we're way off the subject here.

Suna Cocoa: Subject?

Amiko: Whatever.

Shigure: HEY! I'M SUPPOSE TO PROVIDE THE COMIC RELIEF HERE!!!

InuYasha: You can't say masculinity if it's only this big [_______]

Kouga: Yeah right! I'm 9 inches baby!

InuYasha: *doubtfully* Uh huh…

Kouga: Okay 8

InuYasha: Sure..

Kouga: Alright 7 ½ 

Naraku: You know, it is a MINI skirt.

Kouga: Maybe closer to 6

InuYasha: Oh Oh 5 4 3 2 1 VAGINA!! *Does Broadway hands* 

Kouga: Shut Up!!

Sango: You shouldn't' take offense if it's not true.

(Kouga gets sensitive with teary eyes)

InuYasha: Oh but it is

Kagome: Well how would you know!?

Sango: He did assure us he wasn't gay.

Kikyou: So is Kouga a woman?

(Shrugs all around)

Miska: He wears a skirt! They didn't have underwear back then.

(Kyou walks in about now)

Suna Cocoa: So he IS a guy, that we can be sure of.

Miska: Wasn't he naked in a previous chapter?

Kyou: No underwear?


End file.
